All The Good Ones
by BlackGooseGirl
Summary: Karakura High School is left wondering an age old question. RenjiIchigo, IkkakuKira, ShuuheiYumichika, implied HitsugayaMatsumoto.


Title: All The Good Ones (or, Fangirls At Heart)  
Author: **blackgoose**  
Fandom: Bleach  
Pairing: Renji/Ichigo, Ikkaku/Kira, Shuuhei/Yumichika, implied Hitsugaya+Matsumoto.  
Word count: 2,158  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Karakura High School is left wondering an age old question.

* * *

The girls of Karakura High School were pretty much agreed that the man who appeared at the school gates during last period was Very Nice Looking Indeed. They also agreed that there was Nothing Quite Like That at their school. Some twittered on about how his hair was the _absolute_ perfect shade of black; others giggled over how his tattoos made him look like a bad boy, but others sighed over the way he was smiling and nodding at passer-by's - clearly a perfect gentleman. The one boy who nervously wondered where the three long scars had come from was hushed by girls who insisted that they simply added to his "gorgeousness", as one particularly overcome girl put it.

When the girls in his class started squealing over the 'completely cool' way he held his phone, Ichigo finally glanced out of the window, and then hid his head in his desk, trying to ignore the fact that _Shuuhei Hisagi_ was standing outside his school. He also tried to ignore the girls, who spent the next half an hour playing "guess how many muscles Mr Cool has judging by his very tight black jumper".

Around five minutes before the final bell, a time that was usually antsy, but today was especially unsettle in a "sensei, can you please let us out early as there is an incredibly good looking man outside" kind of way, the stranger was joined by another man. His companion served as his opposite; slightly smaller, very pale, with blonde hair that kept being flicked back in a way that suggested it had just recently been cut. Even his clothes were different: his jeans tight and thin, where the other's were baggy; his polo shirt, while also black, was loose, and he did not more with the same confident aura the first man had.

The girls became slightly distracted. When an argument broke out - over which was better looking - that even the teacher couldn't contain, Ichigo glanced out of the window and immediately wished that he hadn't. He now faced the added problem of ignoring that Izuru Kira was also outside his school.

"Renji!" He hissed. "What the hell are all your friends doing outside my school?"

Renji looked like he was on the verge of laughing. "_I_ don't know," he said. "Something about having time off and a pass to the real world."

"If Kenpachi shows up, I'm killing myself," Ichigo said, and hid his head in his desk again.

* * *

To say that Shuuhei Hisagi was unused to female attention was a lie worthy of Aizen, though he had never experienced it on this scale. To be fair, though, there weren't this amount of women in Seireitei, or, at least, this amount of women who were perfectly willing to throw themselves at him if it caught his attention. He smiled winningly at them as Kira hid behind him, also unused to a high level of rabid women, and slightly scared by it.

A tall, pretty girl pushed her way to the front. She looked bold and confident, and kept flicking her long, black hair back with a hand, knowing that it drew attention to her perfectly manicured hands. Shuuhei looked at her with interest: fairly good looking, he thought, though her slightly snobby air stopped her from being 'beautiful', as Yumichika would put it, or 'hot', as Ikkaku would.

"Hi!" she said, smiling brightly and effectively showing off her perfectly white teeth. "I'm Hirano Akino." The smile turned from welcoming to expectant, and Shuuhei guessed that he was supposed to introduce himself.

"Hisagi Shuuhei," he said politely, and pulled Kira out from behind him. "Kira Izuru." Kira smiled shyly and Hisagi swore that he saw stars appear in the girls eyes.

"I haven't seen you around here before." Akino said casually, though she appeared to be batting her eyelashes at him. The edge of Hisagi's mouth twitched: after all, he was used to manipulative behaviour, and the young girl in front of him was about a hundred years to early compared to a certain someone (literally, now that he thought about it).

"We're just here to meet some friends," he said, just as politely as before, his expression not changing at all.

_Her_ smile faded slightly, though her eyes took on a dangerous glint. "Your girlfriends?" She asked, matching Hisagi's polite tone perfectly.

Kira shook his head, his hair flicking into his eyes and then back out again with an elegant grace that caused a strange hush to fall over the gathered girls. Hisagi merely said cryptically, "I wouldn't say that."

If he hadn't been used to million-watt smiles, he would have been blinded by the grin sent their way (Kira took a step back). "So you don't have girlfriends, then?" Her voice seemed to suggest that it didn't matter if they did or not.

Hisagi let his smile grow a little, feeling his victory creep closer. "Again, I wouldn't say that," he said again.

As if on cue, an excited cry of his name echoed across the school yard. As one, the girls turned to see who could possibly know such beautiful men. And then there was the sound of a thousand young hearts breaking.

The students of Karakura High School had their suspicions about Ayasagawa Yumichika of class 1C (protect your men and all that), which were confirmed when he pushed through the crowd and clamped himself around the dark-haired man's arm. He smiled brilliantly at him, and Shuuhei gave him a small, fond, exasperated smiled and, pulling the arm from around his, threaded their fingers together and squeezed lightly. Akino's mouth fell slightly more open.

The crowd was shocked twice in as many minutes when the bald man they'd thought had been going out with the student council leader wrapped a confident arm around the blonde and grinned at him; the smaller man smiled shyly back. There was a moment of silence as the penny dropped, and then a quiet buzzing broke out.

"You're gay?" Akino asked, horror evident in her voice and face.

"Yes!" Yumichika and Kira said, at the exact same time that Hisagi and Ikkaku said "no!" Their respective boyfriends _looked_ at them, slightly tearfully in Kira's case.

"We aren't, though," said Hisagi and Ikkaku in unison.

"It's just that you're better looking than any girl, anyway," Shuuhei said with a casual shrug, at which Yumichika fluttered.

"Exceptions can be made for a pretty face," said Ikkaku, and then whispered something into Kira's ear which had him flushing bright red.

"But you're gorgeous," interrupted Akino, who clearly though that this was a waste of a perfect specimen.

"Yes," purred Yumichika smugly, "isn't he?" The look he sent towards the girl was pure challenge. Hisagi felt slightly like the last pair of reduced shoes. Akino opened her mouth, her eyes narrowed, and Shuuhei sensed that if they hadn't been interrupted for a second time, Yumichika could have ended up with pretty girl blood on his hands.

"Hisagi-san! Kira!" Kira's slight smile widened into a heart-breaking one as Renji ran up towards them, waving and laughing. One particularly melodramatic girl burst into tears. Ichigo followed behind, looking exasperated at the entire scene. Renji reached the group and ruffled the blonde's hair, who bore it with good grace. "You cut your hair!" He said with some surprise. "It looks good."

Kira shook his head. "No. Urahara-san did it. He said I should try it this way." Ikkaku whistled low and glanced up at the sky and muttered something about thanking god for Urahara.

Ichigo finally reached them. "Hisagi. Kira." He nodded. The two shinigami nodded back. The minority of girls who knew the furrow-browed, tough-yet-sweet-inside teenager from 1D felt their suspicions rise when they realised that he knew the strangers personally. To hang out with such a group, they thought, could only mean...

Elsewhere, in soul Society, Zaraki was ranting to anyone who would listen about his faggot third-seat and fruity fifth-seat who were ruining his reputation.

"What's everyone doing here?" Ichigo asked politely, and Renji pouted when he noted the difference in tone from when he'd been asked. Ichigo didn't even seem to notice.

"We had some time off and decided to come visit," said Shuuhei, whose arm seemed to have been taken hostage by a pretty boy shinigami.

"Where are you staying?" Ichigo asked, suddenly apprehensive. "I already told those guys that they couldn't stay with me."

Kira shook his head in sympathy. "We're only here for a couple of days, so our savings should cover a hotel room."

Ikkaku perked up at this. "A hotel room? Really? You mean - a room to ourselves?"

"You've got a one track mind, Ikkaku-san," said Renji with a grin. Ichigo gave an amused snort, to which Renji gave a confused glance.

"That's a bit rich coming from you," Ichigo told him and ducked the hand that swatted at him.

"You don't usually complain," said Renji with the kind of leer that left most of the girls with weak knees. Akino was desperately trying to get back into the conversation, aware that she had been forgotten as soon as Yumichika had entered the scene.

"Who said I was complaining?" Ichigo asked with a smirk.

The smug, innuendo-filled almost-admission caused Akino to accept defeat. She was pulled back into the crowd, the girls in which seeming to blame her for the loss of their chances. It had not escaped anybodies notice that while Hisagi, Ikkaku and Renji were clearly with - someone - they weren't immune to the fact that there were some quite beautiful girls in the mob around them. A nefarious plan was hatched, and immediately put on hold as a series of girls arrived without anyone actually having to get their hands dirty.

First up was Rukia, who seemed slightly pissed off that no one had waited for her. She tartly ignored Renji, nodded her head towards the two newcomers (with no surprise, Ichigo noted, and he felt like he was the only one out of the loop) and punched Ichigo in the shoulder, who yelped and stumbled into Renji. Renji steadied him with an arm around his waist, which then travelled up to play with the hairs at the base of this neck for a couple of minutes. Ichigo brushed him off, though he gave Renji a reassuring smile as he did so. The girls realised that Kuchiki Rukia had, perhaps, not been the best person to pin their hopes on.

Next was Orihime; surely someone with the right 'assets' to tempt these poor men from the demons who had clearly seduced them. The kind, ditzy girl came up to the rag-tag group accompanied by Ishida, and those who were slightly more observant realised that their cause was lost before they had even begun looking.

Inoue barely even stopped, just bounced slightly, waved, and let herself be dragged off by a quincy who could possibly have been glaring behind those glasses, but it was hard to tell. Ichigo watched as they went by with a frown, and Renji stuck his tongue out at the back of Ishida's head.

"He thinks you're bad influences." Rukia said dryly. "I can't really blame him," she added, glancing back towards her friends with a cheeky sneer. "See you later," she called quickly when Renji descended on her with a tic in his left eyebrow, and she ran off.

To the girls, whose hopes were rapidly dissipating, the appearance of Matsumoto Rangiku was like that of a goddess. No man, they felt, could possibly deny the generous charm of a woman like that. As she approached, her hair was flowing; her skirt swishing invitingly around her swaying hips; her chest heaving in a display of womanhood that only Orihime could ever hope to achieve. She smiled brightly at them, that weird, silver-haired elementary kid following behind her, hands stuffed sullenly onto his pockets.

For a minute, it seemed that Matsumoto _was_ the one to answer all their prayers. Three pairs of eyes were drawn directly to her impressive 'display' - and they stayed there. A thousand hearts caught in throats.

Yumichika said something, Kira tugged on a sleeve, and Ichigo turned his head to the side. Shuuhei laughed, Ikkaku devoted his whole attention to the blonde, and Renji blew into Ichigo's ear and then fluffed his hair up.

The spell was broken and a thousand hearts shattered.

Before anything remotely like a counterattack could begin, the kid said something to Matsumoto, who nodded happily and bounced off; the others were slightly behind but left nonetheless. The final straw for the depressed girls was that the only person who watched Matsumoto was the weird child, who wasn't old enough for any of them - no, really. _No_.

And so, the girls of Karakura High School were left pondering the age old questions: why is it always the good ones that are taken?

Or gay?


End file.
